I Am Autistic

-Continued from Part 3-

Summer 2025 - sitting in my home office, I talked with a psychiatrist.

“Definitely, without a doubt, you are Autistic”

Deep relief. I didn’t have to say “I think I’m Autistic” or “I’m likely Autistic” or “If I am Autistic” anymore. I didn’t have to defend my inner knowing anymore.

Learning about Autism has been like everything else - A wave. At first, I was in a "Holy Shit, this can’t be” phase. Then I found a new level of love and acceptance within myself.

Autism is something very sacred to me, a deep knowing finally of who I am.

It was scary sharing, and it’s fucking hard learning to unmask.

The months since the diagnosis have been a deep stripping back of everything I have known about myself. It has been hard. I went from this sacred thing within my heart that only I knew about to sharing with some other close people in my life. It hasn’t always been supportive.

The only thing though is that I have been sitting with this for 2 years. I know who I am and what I need.

Now I understand why I feel how I feel and that’s valid and okay.

The world is so fast. And trying to adjust my outer experience to align with my inner experience has been incredibly difficult.

Some friendships have changed. Some family relationships have changed. People see the masked version of me and they don’t understand. Its an adjustment for everyone.

My story is still unfolding. I am learning how to rest, say no, vocalize my sensory needs.

I am choosing myself on a deeper level then I ever have before.

I will be continuing to write about my experience, it is cathartic for me and my hope is that it will find its way to someone who needs to see it and can offer some hope.

You can read more of my story on substack: https://tayloreprimrose.substack.com/